The Heavy Metal Penis Chart

The Heavy Metal Penis Chart

I figured I would post this because this is it the first time some stud rocker lost his reputation as a sex God. This wasIt was originally floating around on Metal Sludge and then they will either took the sign down for us to take it down so here is one more time for posterity.

Folders closure, I do not find this myself on I will link the post to her I found out all of this information now how fun girls!

  1. Stefan Adika / Dad’s Porno Mag
    A recent email said Stefan is hung like a baby and is a quick shooter. However, Stefan disagrees and says, “I might be Jewish, by I ain’t no Tiny Tim.” His wife is ex-porn star Shelby Stevens, so you know she’s had more dicks than a urinal at LAX. It could go either way, but if you read my Ho-Bag Volume 1, you’ll find out what Stefan is all about.

  2. Art Alexakis / Everclear
    Art has an 8 inch cocks, he’s loud and practically rabid for eating pussy and rimming. He loves his balls sucked, is a great kisser, and enjoy his encounters in odd/semi-public places. Art
    has a huge sexual appetite and is very loud/likes to talk dirty. However he’s not fond of condoms and sometimes his cock isn’t fully hard, which might have something to do with him being a former drug addict. Either that or he’s just old. He tries to come off as such a sincere, sweet guy, but he’s a HUGE slut. He does treat you well when you’re with him–he even holds hands/cuddles and gives his real phone #. He also likes his women to be pretty intelligent and able to hold their end of a conversation about current issues, etc. Watch out for this one, though–he’s unclean!! Either he doesn’t wash the crotch area often or he has a serious problem…smells very dirty. Gross!!
  3. Phil Anselmo / Pantera Well after a short glimpse of that MONSTER power tool in their debut home video it’s no wonder that Rob Halford is such a big Pantera fan! Reports are Phil is a bit over 10 inches!! There are also rumors that Phil can swing both ways, at least orally.

  4. Vinnie Appice / Dio
    Your jaw won’t get sore sucking his cock, so he’s an average joe. But his ‘jap eye’ does blow out enough jizz for 10 guys!

  5. Tom Araya / Slayer
    If you’re down with pentagrams and Satan, then not only is Tom for you, but he’s got a big cock to boot. Tom is about 7 inches, loves to fuck and is not selfish at all! Also has an uncircumcised dick.
  6. Sebastian Bach
    Bach can deliver the good, as most skinny, tall guys can. He has been seen with a variety of groupies out on the road and reports are that he doesn’t shower much. He does have an above average cock and can be a lot of fun, but is ego is totally out of line and out of control. Is known to be a very big asshole, so be careful.

  7. Reb Beach / Winger
    Will tell you he’s married, but still pursue you. If you play with his dirty onion ring he’ll worship you. Average all-around; shows respect, and doesn’t seem to be TOO much the player. Likes ’em young.
  8. Jon Bon Jovi / Bon Jovi
    Back in the day Jon was a huge slut but he’s chilled out a little. Jon has an average size cock and like a lot of guys prefers to receive oral than give it. He has good rhythm though and will even wear 2 condoms if you ask him to.

  9. Mick Brown / Dokken
    Absolute waste of time. Maybe 3 inches if you pull on it. Could be the drugs though.

  10. Rob Bruce / Slik Toxik
    Rob has a pretty small cock, plus he only has ONE BALL! He lost his other ball in an accident. Sounds like he comes up short in both areas.

  11. Jerry Cantrell / Ex-Alice In Chains
    Large (maybe 10 inches), impressive penis. Can handle two girls at once but he loses points for smoking too much crack. Sleeps around because he can, but fixates on the woman he wants to be with.

  12. Edward Carlson / Flotsam & Jetsam
    He’s VERY good with his tongue. His dick is about 9 inches!! If you blow him, he’ll ask if you’ll swallow. If you don’t, he’s nice enough to respect that, but he’ll wanna cum on your tits. He’s also into a little ass-play. You wanna try a dildo out on him? Go ahead and ask. He’ll say yes!

  13. Igor Cavalera / Seplutura
    He cares about whether you get off or not and he is, let’s say, VERY intense in bed. Also has a huge cock.
  14. Carlos Cavazo / Quiet Riot
    Not only a very sloppy and boring lay, but he is very, very, very small. There is no riot going on in his pants.

  15. Gary Cherone / Ex-Van Halen, Ex-ExtremeGary is so small if somebody saw you sucking his dick it would look like you were smoking a joint! Word has it that he is a lot like Freddie Mercury, on and OFF the stage.

  16. Billy Childs / Britny Fox Here is one straight out of the sludge mailbag and out of the past. Our source said it looks like he has a nice size package, but unfortunately he suffered from Whisky D and popped too many pills! It was worse than a wet noodle! This is also called Jerry Dixon syndrome in some circles!

  17. James Christian / House Of Lords
    James has a small, but thick cock, but unfortunately a very hairy back. It looks like he’s wearing a sweater! Unlike a Snickers bar, he isn’t very satisfying.
  18. John Corabi / Ratt, Brides Of DestructionThe former lead singer of Motley Crue also has something in common with Tommy Lee, if you know what I mean. Sometimes those short guys will surprise you with a huge hog.

  19. Jimmy D’Anda / Ex-BulletBoys He has a decent size cock, but not great. He likes to propose marriage while you’re giving him a blow job.
  20. Zack De La Rocha / Ex-Rage Against The Machine
    Now he is excellent in bed, though he has really ugly, curly-haired crotch and balls, but his oral and finger skills make the hair ordeal worth it. Cock is about eight inches in length, about seven in girth. Loves doggy more than any other position, and seems to be obsessed with playing with a girl’s hair. Has a thing for olive skin and dark hair … overall, solid 9, and he takes care of you after the fact.
  21. Glenn Danzig / DanzigThe bottom line is his cock is just like him, short.
  22. Amir Derakh / Orgy
    Above average cock length but skinny. Some of said he is obsessed with anal, so don’t drop the soap in the shower. A good kisser but the personality of a corpse. Does shave his pubic hairs so that’s a plus.

  23. C.C. DeVille / Poison
    I knew a girl that use to go to his house up in the Hollywood Hills & said he liked to Jack Off with lotion 3-5 times a day when he was a Speed user! Nothing fancy on the size either. Must be all the bleach. Doesn’t shut up either.

  24. Dez / Coal Chamber
    7 inch dick with a slight bend to the left. He will smoke some weed with you then sweet talk you to get you into bed. No oral from him and he likes girl on top, then after he cums, he gets rid of you.

  25. John Dolmayan / System Of A Down
    MASSIVE cock. Great in bed, but selfish. Loves to receive oral (if you can get all of it in your mouth), but hesitant to reciprocate unless he knows you. Very dominant, but will NOT look at you while he is fucking you. Likes when you play with his balls. If you are a groupie and act like one, he will treat you with ZERO respect.

  26. Taime Downe / Faster Pussycat
    Taime’s got a nice size cock. We heard he’s into that let me CHOKE you while I POKE you thing too. I heard he’s a breast man and likes big boobs, and is pretty good in the sack. Also rumored to bat from both sides of the plate. Hasn’t seen the sun since 1987.

  27. David Draiman / Disturbed
    He is the ultimate ladies man & is with a different girl every night. He will sweep you off your feet with love & affection, but watch his other hand because it’ll be on some other chicks ass. He’s got a nice size cock, but can be a selfish fuck, so bring your vibrator. Also, you may walk funny the next day because he rams really hard. In addition, some say he’s pretty cheap and never pays for a thin, and one girl even says he plays for both teams.

  28. Kevin DuBrow / Quiet Riot
    Kevin has a good body and an average dick. He’s very passionate and worth looking into providing you dig guys who wear a rug.

  29. Fred Durst / Limp Bizkit
    Fred is an average joe, or should I say an average Fred. Nothing too big but nothing too small. He loves to eat pussy and loves to get oral in return. He’s a little on the kinky side and he really loves the freaky girls. Tries to use the press to get date and frequently comes off like a creepy stalker

They resuscitated version of this post is available here:


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